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Q: Now that my husband and I are empty nesters, we have more time on our hands and want to invest it in something else meaningful. Can you offer any suggestions?

Jim: During the parenting season, we understandably place great emphasis on the next generation: the children growing up today who will become the leaders of tomorrow. That's certainly very worthwhile. But what about the previous generation?

Surveys in many western nations show that the birth rate is declining while the elderly are the fastest-growing segment of the population. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, within just a few years from now, one in five Americans will be over the age of 65.

It's no secret that our culture generally prizes those who are young and beautiful. But there's great value in every human being, no matter their age.

Investing in the older generation is about more than spending time with your own parents and grandparents, although that's definitely important. Consider the thousands of men and women around us -- veterans, shut-ins, nursing home residents, etc. -- who are growing old alone. A few years back, one survey of more than 16,000 care centers in the U.S. found that only 15% of the residents received visitors. That means 85% didn't receive visits from ANYONE ... not friends, not family, not even a chaplain. That's heartbreaking.

So, I would humbly suggest you consider investing a little time, energy and love in the elder generation. Even better, connect them with the next generation. We can all gain a lot from their experience, wisdom and examples. And they'll benefit from our love and appreciation.

Q: My daughter can be very sweet to friends when there's something in it for her -- but she can also treat them poorly when they "don't have much to offer." How can I help her learn to care for others, not just herself?

Dr. Danny Huerta, Vice President, Parenting & Youth: To me, it sounds like your daughter could be more of a "consumer" than a "connector." Let me explain.

Consumers approach other people with the perspective: "What do you have for me?" Their relationships generally aren't very stable, and they are much more likely to be critical of others. Consumers are poor listeners. They expect others to earn their attention and thus have shallow relationships.

On the other hand, connectors begin with the question, "What do you need from me?" Connectors listen well, value people just for who they are and want what's best for others. They tend to be encouragers and have more deeply rooted relationships.

The good news is that your daughter can learn to be a connector. Here are some concepts for you to model to her:

1. Listen first. Our minds are often distracted with our own concerns. Pause to really hear what the other person is saying.

2. Be generous. Generosity isn't just about giving money. We can be benevolent with our time -- or even our smiles. It's especially important to be generous with authentically kind words.

3. Genuinely care. Ask questions and then follow up. My kids love it when I return to something that's been important to them. They appreciate that I care enough to listen, remember and seek an update.

4. Gain perspective. Far too often we only look at things from our own viewpoint. Take time to see things from another perspective.

Unfortunately, the world is full of consumers and people craving to be noticed. It desperately needs genuine, loving connectors -- and those people are the ones who really stand out.

For more tips, insights and age-appropriate tools, visit FocusOnParenting.com.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2025 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.