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Q: My kids' friends are already talking about their families' summer vacation plans. With a high-stress career and crazy schedules for everybody in the household, it's been several years since we've been able to take a vacation as a household. We're just too busy!

Jim: I actually hear this sort of comment often from people I know. But I strongly encourage you to find a way to have some time off. Your family needs a chance to rest, regroup and have some fun together.

Now, I can certainly appreciate that people have numerous valid-sounding reasons for not taking vacations -- especially if travel expenses are involved. But there's another problem as well. From Fortune 500 executives to stay-at-home moms trying to keep an orderly house, many people feel there's too much to do to actually stop working. The unfortunate consequence is that many Americans are making do with little or no time off.

You might be surprised to learn that Americans collectively forfeit hundreds of millions of vacation days each year! In fact, in a typical year, over half of working Americans leave at least some of their allotted vacation time unused.

However -- extended periods of rest and relaxation are not only good, but necessary, for our health and future productivity. That's why making time for rest is a principle we're wise to follow.

So, take time to recharge. Sure, we can't all take a two-week vacation to Hawaii. But most of us can at least take a few days off a year to rest and refresh ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually.

I'll finish with two well-known adages. First, nobody ever lays on their deathbed and says, "I wish I'd spent more time at the office." Second, "The family that plays together stays together."

Q: Sometimes when I want to talk with my husband about my day or share something important, he seems to just check out. I can tell he's trying to engage, but after a few minutes it's obvious I've lost him. Can you give me some tips for communicating with him?

Dr. Greg Smalley, Vice President, Marriage & Family Formation: Several points come to mind. First, women seem to easily shift from topic to topic during a conversation. Perhaps this ability originates in the same part of the brain that allows you ladies to multitask so effectively. But covering multiple topics overwhelms the average man -- that's when our eyes glaze over. So, try to finish one thought and topic before moving on to the next.

Also, most men don't realize that women use conversation to explore and organize your thoughts. We guys don't really understand that when you tell a story with particulars, you're discovering how you feel. Sharing minute details about an experience or conversation may help you feel connected with your husband, but you're not speaking his language. Right or wrong, that's why he checks out or interrupts if he's heard enough or feels overwhelmed by the word count. So, try offering a "diet story" -- meaning that you edit the details or trim back excessive words to keep him engaged in your account.

Finally, most guys are highly (perhaps overly) sensitive to criticism, implied disrespect or feeling like a failure. If you start a conversation with something like "You didn't ..." or "We need to talk!" we shut down emotionally. Research shows that the first three minutes of a discussion are a very reliable indicator of how things will go. So, the key is how you initiate the conversation. If your husband feels that your start-up is harsh, he will likely stay silent, exit the conversation or get angry. A softened start-up -- gentle voice, relaxed body language, kind facial expressions -- goes a long way.

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Jim Daly is a husband and father, an author, and president of Focus on the Family and host of the Focus on the Family radio program. Catch up with him at jimdalyblog.focusonthefamily.com or at Facebook.com/JimDalyFocus.

Copyright 2025 Focus On The Family. (This feature may not by reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without written permission of Focus on the Family.)

COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.