Subway Rider Wants To Be More Mindful When On Train
DEAR HARRIETTE: I was riding the subway during an off-peak hour. There were a few other passengers in my train car but still a lot of empty seats. A few stops into my ride, a seemingly unhoused person got onto my train, and as he sat down, four or five people got up and switched their seats to move away from him. I was already on the other end of the car, but I saw it all happen. This person then got up and snapped at everyone, yelling, "I'm a person, too." It was quite sad to see. While I didn't do it that day, I'm guilty of having moved away from certain people in the past. What can we do to be more mindful of how we treat others in circumstances like this? -- Be the Change
DEAR BE THE CHANGE: A great humanizer in a large city with public transportation is that you will be in the company of people who live in a variety of circumstances that may be different from your own. It can be easy to ignore them or attempt to distance yourself from them, especially in crowded areas, but as you witnessed, people notice when others back away.
Does that mean those people should have stayed in their seats? Not necessarily. If someone enters your space -- on the train or elsewhere -- and their smell or demeanor is unsettling, you have the right to move. You can even move just because you want more room if someone sits next to you and crowds you. What you should do, however, is to tap into your humanity first. If you have something to offer such as a piece of fruit or a bottle of water and the person is obviously in distress, quietly offer it. Let your attitude be one that shows that you honor the dignity in the other person, even if you move away.
DEAR HARRIETTE: I haven't dated in a while. I recently met someone quite casually in New York City, and they expressed interest. I had totally forgotten we'd exchanged numbers until he FaceTimed me a few days later. To my surprise, he was quite the conversationalist. He was interesting, attentive and curious. He told me that he would make plans for us, and he stuck to his word. He reached out today saying he'd like to take me out this evening. He made reservations for us to go to dinner and bowling, and he would like to pick me up. Everything sounds great. I've complained about people lacking initiative in the past, but now that I'm faced with it, I'm too nervous to go! Have I stayed out of the dating game too long? Why do I feel so anxious about something that seems to check all the boxes? -- Nervous Wreck
DEAR NERVOUS WRECK: You may be feeling he's too good to be true. Step out of your comfort zone and agree to go out with him. If his big plan seems too big, suggest that you start with coffee or a walk in the park. Take it slow and find out if he's interesting enough to let your guard down a bit.
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(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
Copyright 2025, Harriette Cole
COPYRIGHT 2025 Andrews McMeel Syndication. This feature may not be reproduced or distributed electronically, in print or otherwise without the written permission of Andrews McMeel Syndication.
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