... continued from above

A few cards short of a deck.

A few clowns short of a circus.

A few feathers short of a whole duck.

A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

A few of sheep short of an orgy.

A few peas short of a casserole.

A few tomatoes short of a good thick sauce.

A few trucks short of a convoy.

Continued below...

... continued from above

It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they have had a couple of drinks.

Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

The president and his veep were talking when he said, "I hate all the dumb president jokes people tell about me."

The veep, feeling sorry for his boss, said sage-like, "Oh, they are only jokes. There are a lot of stupid people out there. Here, I'll prove it to you."

To patronize the president, he took him outside and hailed a taxi driver.

"...Read more

Jones: "The Chinese make it an inviolable rule to settle all their debts on New Year's Day."

Smith: "So I understand, but, then again, the Chinese don't have a Christmas the week before!"

For people in a hurry, we have compiled this short history of medicine, using as an example the treatment of that common ailment, the ear ache.

2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.

1000 A.D. - That root is heathen, say this prayer.

1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition, drink this potion.

1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill...Read more

A famous professor of surgery died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate he was asked by the gatekeeper: 'Have you ever committed a sin you truly regret?'

'Yes,' the professor answered. 'When I was a young candidate at the hospital of Saint Lucas, we played soccer against at team from the Community Hospital, and I scored a goal, which was ...Read more

One balmy day in the South Pacific, a navy ship espied smoke coming from one of three huts on an uncharted island. Upon arriving at the shore they were met by a shipwreck survivor. He said, "I'm so glad you're here! I've been alone on this island for more than five years!"

The captain replied, "If you're all alone on the island why do I see ...Read more

The bride came down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.

She said, "What are your golf clubs doing here?"

He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"